I am primarily a stage hypnotist. Mostly I do a comedy stage hypnosis show. However, I was clinically trained and have a number of certifications in clinical hypnotherapy. I'm also continuing my education in Gestalt Therapy. I received an email from a television script writer January 9th, 2005, and we carried on a dialogue for two days. This is a dialogue on clinical hypnosis and he wanted to make sure his script was believable. You might find this interesting: Hi Alan: I came across your site while doing research for a script I'm writing here in New York.Ê I was hoping you might be able to answer a quick question for me? I have a character that is under hypnosis at one point.Ê He talks about bad childhood memories he had between him and his father.Ê At the end of the session the hypnotist, before bringing him out of this state says these lines: Okay Wendell.Ê When I count to three you will return to present day.Ê On three, all of your fears and anxieties, when it comes to your relationship with your father, will be forgotten.Ê All the emptiness and loneliness he has burdened you with, will be erased from your thoughts, forever.Ê You will focus your attention towards bettering yourself.Ê Becoming a stronger, deeper more compassionate person. When I finishing counting to three, all of the negativity you have towards your father will be forgotten.Ê His abuse, his unavailability, his cold-heartedness will be gone from your mind.Ê You will start to become more confident with yourself, how you fit into society and who you want to strive to be.ÊAll this new energy will be directed towards becoming a better Wendell.Ê On three now you will become who you really are.ÊÊ One... Two...Ê Three." My question is of course does this sound real?Ê Could a hypnotist actually make people forget bad memories?Ê I know they can bring them out into the open but can they do this?Ê I really appreciate you taking the time to give me a quick explanation. John the Writer (alias as per his request) Alan Replied: First, you might want to go visit a hypnotherapist and experience what hypnosis is. Learn how it works; learn what the limitations are. Or, read the first three chapters of a book. You don't have to read an entire hypnosis book to understand it. The beginning of the book explain what and how hypnosis is, then they get into chapters on specific subjects like, "Quit smoking", "Eating Disorders", etc... Now to answer your question; no one can make you forget anything permanently. No one can make you do anything you're not ready to do for yourself, with or without hypnosis. It is your mind, and hypnotherapy is an excellent means of therapy -- just like Gestalt, or cognitive types of therapy -- it is another type of therapy. However, therapy does no "erase' anything. Hypnosis can help you deal with your issues, come to a personal resolve with that issue, and move on. Hypnosis can help you discover what the real issues are, and then hypnosis can help you determine for yourself how much you want to deal with it, and it can help you prioritize what is important to you -- i.e., moving on, or letting it obsess you more. Like most therapies, you often times learn there are other issues that need to be dealt with before you get over the primary issue you wanted to address. If you write that script, and it gets shown on TV, or in a movie, or on stage, it will further more myths and misnomer about hypnosis. But, then, we live in a world of myth and misnomer (i.e., religion, politics, the value of money, looking for true love, etc). The script can be written correctly so it is factual. I will explain how in a moment. A lot of hypnosis is metaphoric and a lot of the time we go around, and around, and around, before the person sees what they are circling. They have to see it for themselves, decide they want to get over the issue, decide in what priority they choose to deal with that issue and determine the best path for themselves to deal with the issue. Sometimes we as therapists can suggest options, and let them know what all the options are. However, the subject has to make the decisions for themselves. Here is a good example - an adult woman finds herself with an unplanned pregnancy. She has choices. Others can share with her all the options to make sure she knows all the options. Some of the options the person will discard immediately; this leaves her fewer options. It is then her decision which exact path to take. No one can make the decisions that will effect her heart for her -- they are truly her own decisions. Sometimes there is no perfect solution to a problem, but one can decide with proper guidance, counseling or therapy (all interchangeable) which option might be the best give the choices and given the results one will achieve. The true problem with your script that I see is this. Your script has two issues; one issue is the guys self confidence, the other issue is his relationship with his father. They need to be addressed separately. You state he has " fears and anxieties" AND he has issues regarding his "relationship with your father" First, only Wendell can decide if these issues will be " forgotten". Wendell feels, "emptiness and loneliness" ... " burdened with the issues" Only Wendell can decide to"erased from his thoughts." You can't instruct him to erase the thoughts. An there is the big problem that you say he will "forget these things forever." This, of course, means no follow-up visits and therapists are business people. (JOKING) You have the therapist telling Wendell "You will focus your attention towards bettering yourself.... "Becoming a stronger, deeper more compassionate person." and all this is fine. This is standard stuff, we always help them see real goals of bettering themselves and feeling better. People like the "soft and good feeling" stuff. But, you can't say, "all of the negativity you have towards your father will be forgotten.Ê" How about saying, "all of the negativity you have towards your father will be redirected towards improving yourself. You will stop wasting all that negative energy and redirect it..." You currently have him saying, "His abuse, his unavailability, his cold-heartedness will be gone from your mind." How about altering that to will motivate you when you think of negative thoughts and memories to create good thoughts and positive memories. Therapists will usually find what the client wishes they could be doing with all that wasted time and they help the client redirect the time and energy towards their positive goal. You say: Ê "You will start to become more confident with yourself, how you fit into society and who you want to strive to be. All this new energy will be directed towards becoming a better Wendell." However, it is usually specific, something they have chosen for themselves as their new focus of energy. This is one of the things a good therapist will do is help a client find a priority and refocus the negative energy towards positive change. Here is another example, (hypnotists love metaphors) When a person is trying to do one thing and they get distracted by something else, they need to refocus, right? Negative thought processes are the same, as is depression, anxiety, hate - if you redirect the energy, then you will achieve change. Alan, You are amazing!Ê To take the time and help explain things in terms I can really understand is beyond appreciated.Ê I especially thank you for writing exactly how YOU would phrase things.Ê It really helps to just hear straight out how things are said.Ê I was getting advice from a doctor awhile back on how he tells a family that a loved one has died.Ê It took forever just to get him to say straight out how he does it.Ê You caught that right away and really broke it down for me.Ê Wow. I thank you so much for cutting to the chase and giving me answers I can plug in.Ê If and WHEN this script gets made I will then divulge further into hypnosis to get a better understand of what goes on in order to help better direct the actors involved.Ê All the best. John Alan, Just thought you might want to see what your comments spawned off....Ê If you want to use the changes on your site feel free.Ê By the way, if they still sound a bit off please be blunt... HYPNOTIST: "Okay Wendell.Ê Now when I count to three you will return to present day.Ê On three, all of your fears and anxieties when it comes to your relationship with your father will be directed towards improving yourself as a human being today.Ê All the emptiness and loneliness he has burdened you with will be used as a vehicle in helping to project the exact opposite feelings towards others. His abuse, his unavailability, his cold-heartedness are character traits that you yourself will strive to be rid of. Negative will become positive Wendell as you begin to focus on becoming a stronger, deeper more compassionate person.Ê When I finishing counting to three, you will start to become more confident with yourself.Ê Confident on how you fit into society.ÊConfident about who you want to become.Ê Your new focus will center on finding your soul mate and being optimistic about developing new relationships.Ê All this new energy will be directed towards becoming a better Wendell.Ê On three this new transformation will begin.ÊÊ One... Two...Ê Three." Excellent. The only thing I might add is this (if this were an actual session) You can let go of what has happened in the past. Take it and throw it away. It is still there, but it is past. you have shed it. It is no longer your burden. It sits there, but you have the strength to ignore it, to turn it away, to no longer let it obsess you. It is now your power. As long as it exists, it gives you power to do exactly everything opposite of what it stood for in the past. Shame becomes pride - is that OK with you Wendell? Yes? Good. Humility allows you to be humble when you feel fear or anxiety, it gives you adrenalin to go forward, to harness that energy and us it in a positive way. The emptiness and loneliness now fills you with the strength to give others love, attention and compassion, and it fills you up. Feel yourself full at this moment. Full to the top -filled with love, compassion and the ability to share and empower others. When you remember abuse - you will want to share love and tolerance. Is that OK with you Wendell? Are you comfortable with that? It is your choice now. No one is forcing you. You can be the old Wendell or move to being the new Wendell. When you think of your father being unavailable, you will take the moment to reach out and let someone know you can and will be there for them. It may take effort Wendell. Are you willing to make the effort? Yes? Excellent. I'm already proud of you." When you find you are repeating his patters of being cold-hearted ... you will stop. You will breath. Breath deeply. Take the moment to think and act and share warmth... with or without immediate reward. Let the new Wendell grow, nurture the new Wendell. give the new Wendell time to mature into the what Wendell wants to be. The pattern is already broken; now give it the time to make it's full transformation. And when you fail, as accidents will happen and ingrained instincts will surface ... stop, breath, think. Retrace your steps and apologize, humble yourself. Forget pride. Pride is in the corner with all those ill feelings you had for your father. Forget your father, forget pride, and breath -- and then ask yourself, 'If I was in the other seat and Wendell just said or did that to me, what would I want Wendell to do now to heal the moment?' Say out loud what you want Wendell to say to you when he does these old bad habits, then take the appropriate action to heal the small wound. Do not let it fester. Clean the wound and share love, companionship, and friendship. It all takes time, but you can see your new path clearly, and the old path is now very obscured. Walk the new path, and see the reap of your harvest down the path. It is not a short path, but it is not a long path either. Most important, it is a good path. the right path. It is the path Wendell wants to take, the path Wendell has blazed for himself. Feel the energy, see the path - negative all become positives, become empowered to correct any wrongs - 1, slowly awakening, Feel the energy, see the path - negative all become positives, become empowered to correct any wrongs - 2, feeling full of vim, vigor and vitality and the new Wendell emerges - 3, slowly coming to full consciousness. (NOTE: taking the other seat, standing in the other persons shoes is a Gestalt Technique not used by a lot of hypnotherapists -- but VERY powerful) http://www.simplehypnosis.com/complete.htm I just found this web site and I am reading it right now. It is very good, easy to read and comprehend and has some very good insight I like. Cheers forgot to ask you... Do you think I am bringing Wendell out of hypnosis the right way? By saying," When I count to three" or things like, "on three you will start to...." You have made this character sound much more professional with your comments. I would hate to ruin it by not getting the ending technique correct. Counting out is always the way - or one of the most common ways, but one leaves them with affirmations as you count them out. © 2005 by Alan Sands Entertainment, Inc.