Alan Sands Entertainment

 

This is my 21st year as a comedy hypnotist. For all 21 years I have been doing high school, late-night, grad night and post prom parties. My market has expanced dramatically across the nation and I do approximately 30+ schools each year in about eight states.

This year I have already returned to Montana where I performed in Fairview, Glasgow and Baker; last weekend I was in Lusk, Wyoming and now I am on my way to St. John, North Dakota.

For the fun of it, I have begun collecting coffee mugs in each state I go to since December 25th - I have ten of them in three months. I was in Oregon for Christmas doing a show at a casino referred to me by Michael Mezmer; for New Years Eve I was in California at a country club in the San Francisoc East Bay. I had a holiday party in Minnesota, did a school show in February for a private school during their intersession that was in New York. Did a college show in Charlotte, NC and a lecture and show for a magic club in Vancouver, BC through Shawn Farquhar and also a fundraiser in Saskatchewan.

When I go to rent my cars, I usaully carry on a comedy dialogue that goes something like this:

 

Me as I approach the Hertz counter: “Mom (or dad if male behind counter), can I borrow the car?”

 

Them: “The car we have for you is a free upgrade. It’s a Chrysler 300.”

ME: “Oh goody. Lot’s of buttons, bells and whistles to play with.”

 

Them: “It has less than 1,000 miles on it.”

Me: “BaH! Silly people giving me a new car. I think I will take those extra insurances now!”

 

Them: “It does have a scratch on the passenger’s door.”

Me: “WHAT! That will slow me down. wind resistance, and I will never get layer now!”

 

Them: “would you like the fuel option?”

Me: “nope. Even if you offer me fuel for 50¢ less a gallon than in town, for every gallon I leave in the car, it is equal to six gallons of me refilling.”

 

Them: “Would you like any maps?”

Me: “I carry a GPS. I’m Jewish, without it I get lost for 40 years.”

 

Them: “Pleasure meeting you.”

Me: “Don’t jump to hasty decisions.”

 

I am sitting in Minnesota's airport on my way to Minot to drive to St. John. It's time to go. Please add comments, they help my SEO and lord knows I need help! All kinds of help!

 

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